


Forbidden

by orphan_account



Series: Love is Love [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU- non magic, Anxiety Disorder, Asexual Regulus, Blind Regulus, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Genderfluid Sirius, Get-Together Fic, Jewish Characters, Jewish/Muslim relationships, M/M, Mentions of past abuse, Muslim characters, Platonic Affection, Platonic Kissing, Slow Burn, Time Out Tel Aviv Response Video, Trans Remus, University AU, artist Sirius, kissing on video, mentions of anxiety attacks, modern marauders, religious oppression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2018-05-14 19:47:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5756011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Lily and Marlene decide to make a video in response to Israel's banned book about a Jewish and Arab romance, they don't realise what wheels they're setting into motion.  Artist Sirius Black reluctantly agrees to participate in the video experiment, having no idea he's on the path to finding love in the most unexpected place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forbidden

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the two tumblr asks who wanted a fic based on the Time Out Tel Aviv video, http://timeout.co.il/en/special-features/kiss-tell1 And for the ask who wanted a Regulus-heavy fic with Blind Regulus.
> 
> This fic contains sensitive religious issues, including dealing with religious oppression of LGBTQA people. It is by no means religion bashing, as both Judaism and Islam are religions of peace, but does discuss the topics of family using religion in a hateful manner. If any of these topics are triggering to you, please feel free to skip this story.

Twirling a strand of hair round her finger, Lily stared down at her cup of milky tea and tried to find the motivation to open her laptop and start her research for the day. She found herself wishing for the thousandth time someone had warned her that writing her dissertation was going to be the most obnoxious and time-consuming task she would have accomplished to date.

With a sigh, she glanced over at Marlene who was adjusting a thin, gold chain along her forehead, trying to pin it round the back of her hijab, and becoming increasingly frustrated. Lily grinned, then sighed. “Turn round. Honestly,” she reprimanded.

Marlene rolled her eyes, but was grinning as she spun in the chair and let Lily fasten the clasp.

“Tight enough?” Lily asked, tugging a little on the back.

Marlene reached up and pulled a little, grinning. “Yes. Tell me how beautiful I look.”

Lily snorted as she pulled her laptop closer to her. “You look really beautiful. If I weren’t a raging ace, I’d throw you down on this counter and ravage you.”

Marlene’s smile widened, her teeth showing over her bottom lip. “That’s why I love you. You know that, right?”

“Mm. Yes I do.” Lily flipped open her laptop and her mouse hovered over her research tab. Instead she clicked on her email, and ignored Marlene’s scoff. She grinned when arms wrapped round her waist, and a sharp chin poked over her shoulder.

“Lils…”

“Please don’t start. I don’t _feel_ like researching today.”

“I’m not your mum. I don’t give two shits if you research tonight. But you’d better not spend the evening whinging after you realise how much you didn’t get done.”

Lily glowered at her best friend out of the corner of her eye as she clicked her email open. A hand rushed in front of her face, a polished, purple nail poking at her laptop screen.

“Look, Dori’s emailed! She never writes me.”

“That,” Lily said, batting her hand away so she could open the email, “is because you never email anyone back.”

“Why bother when I’ve got Lily to do it for me,” she said with a grin, pressing a small kiss to the side of Lily’s face.

“You’re shameless, you know that.”

“And you love me,” Marlene said, nuzzling her friend.

“Remind me why, again,” Lily said as she scanned the email. “Dear Lily,” she murmured, reading aloud, “things are well, blah blah blah. Check out this video, thought you and Marls might be interested in doing something like this for her film course. I actually got to see the shoot whilst I was here in Tel Aviv and it was cool.”

“What’s she on about?” Marlene asked.

Lily checked out the link and frowned. “Time Out’s response to the banned book where an Israeli Jewish woman falls in love with a Palestinian man?” Lily clicked on the link, and she felt Marlene’s arms tighten round her as they watched.

The video was rather lovely, representing people who were couples, and people who had just met for the first time, both heterosexual and homosexual, kissing.

“We should do it,” Marlene breathed. “Do you think we know enough?”

Lily turned her head, pushing Marlene off her. “Know enough?”

“You know, other people who would work with us. I mean, you’re Jewish.”

Lily nodded slowly. “Yeah but my parents weren’t like practising or anything.”

“So? I mean, this isn’t about the parents, is it. We should do this. Dori’s right.”

Lily glanced back at the video as the wheels started to turn in her head. “Well, I think this bloke in one of my classes is Muslim, and he seems pretty chill. I could ask him.” 

“A bloke,” Marlene said with a groan. 

“Well you don’t have to kiss him,” Lily said.

“Good. I want to kiss a pretty girl, Lily.”

The redhead laughed a bit, shaking her head. “Of course you do. You’re going to use this to pull, aren’t you?”

“You think so low of me! I want to make a social statement. If I happen to get a good shag—maybe even a series of good shags—maybe even fall in love like a super gay Disney romance—that’s just a bonus.”

“You really want to do this?”

Marlene’s eyes were alight with excitement. “I do. I really do. We can call it King’s Response to Banned Love.”

Lily smiled at her best friend, nodding. “Alright.” Sitting back, she mentally recounted the students she knew, and she realised she might know one more from that same class. She was fairly sure he was Jewish. He was most definitely Israeli, they’d spoken on the first day of their astrophysics lecture before they’d been partnered off on opposite sides of the room, and he spoke fluent Hebrew. She didn’t want to assume though, considering she was raised mostly Atheist and really only ever called herself Jewish culturally. But she could ask. It wouldn’t hurt to ask.

“Alright well…I guess let’s get started.”

*** 

Regulus was gathering his laptop before his ride arrived, and Sirius was lounging on the sofa, one foot up on the arm, the other draped dramatically over his eyes. He’d just come off a strop about Regulus leaving for class, and as much as Reg tried to be understanding about his sibling’s anxiety on his bad days, he couldn’t skive off. They had exams coming up and it was difficult enough attempting a career in astrophysics with the inability to see beyond two inches in front of his nose.

“You owe me chocolate on your way home,” Sirius grumbled.

Regulus rolled his eyes as he located his cane, tucking it into the back pocket of his jeans. He swiped his fringe away from his eyes and pat along the table, finding his keys in case Sirius decided he was feeling better and decided to scarper for the day. “I don’t owe you anything. I’m going to class, I’m not making a fucking statement against your well-being.”

“That’s exactly what someone would say if they were making a statement against my well-being,” Sirius replied loftily.

Regulus grit his teeth and sighed. “Did you give James this much trouble when he was leaving this morning?”

“No. Because the poncy bastard left before I was awake. S’what I get for sleeping in my own bed last night.” Sirius finally pulled his arm down to give his brother a withering, yet pointless, glower. “How long is your class.”

“A couple of hours. You’ve got meds on the table if you need them. I can’t find my headphones though, so don’t text. And I won’t be able to answer during my lecture so ring Potter if you get desperate.” Slinging his pack up on his shoulder, Reg carefully made his way to the sofa, hand out until it found Sirius’ shoulder. He gave it a squeeze. “Try and get some work done or something. Take your mind off it.”

“Yes, because that always works,” Sirius muttered, turning away from his brother.

Regulus let out a small sigh, then backed away. It was no use, really. Sirius was normally alright, but there were certain times in the year when it was harder to exist. Like now. Eight years prior Sirius had been unceremoniously flung from their house for being an abomination. Genderfluid, queer, questioning the religious values their family had upheld for centuries.

Islam might have been a religion of peace, but not everyone held it in such high esteem. Even the ones who practised it. And it wasn’t, like most religions, very accommodating to people like Sirius.

Regulus lived with the guilt of abandoning his sibling for as long as he had. Sirius had been beaten viciously and thrown to the streets without a pound to his name, and it was by the grace of the Potters that he’d had somewhere to go.

Regulus had spent two long years pretending Sirius didn’t exist, until he came to a sharp, horrible realisation that his parents really didn’t love either of their children. They were concerned for propriety only. It was bad enough their eldest son was a disgrace, but their youngest was born blind and they believed he wouldn’t be capable of much except being married off and hopefully—as he’d overheard his mother say over drinks one late night—produce children without such afflictions.

Regulus left then. He’d picked up his cane, carried as much as he could, and had just…gone.

Sirius was angry, but had never turned Regulus away. It hadn’t been easy, of course. Regulus had a host of things to work through, namely the prejudices his parents had cooked into him from infancy. But as he got to know Sirius’ mates, and a world he’d cut himself off from for years, things changed.

Stood outside, it was only a handful of minutes before the car arrived, and Benjy’s voice calling out. “Come on, I’m late today.”

Reg found the car easily, slipping in and dropping his pack between his knees. Regulus had met Benjy in an ace group through Sirius’ LGBTQ+ organisation after doing a bit of self-discovery, and they’d been dating now for the better part of a year. Having someone who understood him like no one ever had before took the edge off the gaping wound Regulus still carried with him after carving his family out from his middle.

“You have that look on your face again,” Ben said. “Sirius being a shit?”

“When is he not?” Reg grumbled, but his mouth quirked up into a small smirk. “Just one of those days. He’ll be alright.”

Reaching over, Ben squeezed his shoulder briefly, then slipped into his usual tales of pub customers from the night before. Regulus couldn’t get enough of Ben’s quite lilt, a faint accent from growing up with only Hebrew-speaking parents, and he was hilarious. Maybe it was a little bit of a fuck you to his parents that Regulus had decided to be gay and date a Jewish man, but he loved Ben fiercely.

They arrived at the lecture hall with only a few minutes to spare, Regulus pressing a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth before taking the familiar path to the class. He slipped in and by the sound it was before the professor arrived, and he could only hope no one was being a twat and taking his usual seat.

“It’s open,” came another soft voice. Lupin, who had been assigned his partner for anything visual he might need, spoke up from his own usual seat. 

Reg banged his pack on the front of the desk as he slid into the chair, grumbling. “Sorry. My sibling was being a shite this morning and Ben was late.”

Remus gave a soft laugh. “It’s no worries. I think it’s catching. McGonagall’s late as well.”

“Which works for me,” came a voice behind Regulus, startling him. He recognised it, but couldn’t put a name to it. “I wanted to talk to you two lads about something.”

Reg turned slightly, facing the reddish blur that was the woman interrupting their conversation. “About what?” He knew he sounded like a bit of an arse, but it wasn’t something he could help, and he decided it didn’t really matter.

“Well.” She hesitated for a long moment. “My housemate and I are working on a film project, and I thought you two might be interested in it. Have you heard about that incident in Israel where the book about the Jewish woman and Muslim man who fall in love got banned?”

“No,” Reg said at the same time as Remus said, “Yes, I have.”

Regulus raised a brow at this, but didn’t say anything more.

“Well, Marls and I—my housemate, that is—we were thinking about getting something like that started. King’s response to the banned book. This website had done a video about it, and we thought we’d contribute our own.”

“Your housemate’s a film student,” Reg said with a slight sneer. It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate the arts. Sirius himself was an artist and a writer, but he always found wasting so much time and energy and loans on degrees for them was a bit rubbish.

“Problem with that?” she challenged, her voice dropping low.

“Lily,” Remus said carefully, “maybe this isn’t the best time to…”

“Sorry for the inconvenience,” Lily interrupted, and there was a squeak as the desk scraped the floor, and she was gone.

He heard Remus sigh quietly. “You know, she’s actually really nice. You didn’t have to be an arse to her.”

Reg felt his cheeks go a bit pink. “It’s… I’m sorry. It’s not intentional, really. I just don’t like being used.” He fiddled with the edge of his laptop for a second. “What’s the video? Obviously I’ve not seen it and…”

“It’s actually quite sweet,” Remus said, his voice low as the door opened and Regulus immediately recognised the sound of McGonagall’s shoes. “They got together people from Palestine and people from Israel—some were already couples, some complete strangers—a mixture of straight and queer couples—and had them kiss.”

“Sort of like a love is love type response,” Regulus said quietly. “My boyfriend’s Jewish. Maybe I…maybe we should…” He was feeling guilty for having brushed Lily off so rudely, and it seemed like a decent thing to do. “Would you even consider it?”

Remus laughed. “I might. Would you?”

“I don’t think it would take much to get Ben to kiss my face—especially for a good cause,” Regulus said with a smirk. “And maybe I could send a clip to my parents. That would be…absolutely worth it.”

*** 

Sirius flopped about on the sofa for most of the afternoon. At one point he dragged himself to the kitchen to reheat some of James’ barmy lamb dish he had experimented on earlier that week—which wasn’t half bad but Sirius wouldn’t be begging him to make it again any time soon.

He was trying not to storm-cloud, he really was. Normally he did alright in controlling his anxiety, but this time of year was always the worst for him, and though he would never regret having his brother back in his life, sometimes Regulus was a screaming reminder of everything he’d suffered at the hands of his parents.

Of course Sirius suffered guilt as well, guilt for leaving, for allowing himself to be thrown out because who would protect Regulus. His parents had always treated Regulus as an inconvenience, in spite of the fact that Regulus had always been the obedient one. But they wanted a “whole son” and Sirius couldn’t give them that.

Because he was not their son.

Sirius had discovered his gender identity in his fourth year at the swotty, posh boarding school his parents sent him to. James had caught him hiding skirts in his trunk, and instead of taking the piss or turning him in he sat him down and asked him.

It was then Sirius realised what an absolute and complete friend he had in James. Who never judged him, who never made him feel invalid. Who switched pronouns on the occasions Sirius wanted to. James never made him feel like a boy in a dress. And although Sirius hadn’t escaped his family unscathed, the Potters and James made it easier.

He would never be more grateful for it.

Of course Sirius’ family always found the Potters to be traitors to the cause. Not nearly religious enough, letting James muck about with people outside of Islam, exploring other faiths, letting him have the freedom to choose. When Sirius had been offered that same freedom, it took him years to know what the hell to do with it.

He was feeling alright though, after Regulus left, and as the day wore on, he got part of his painting completed which was on a deadline for an upcoming art show. It was his last piece, and there was time, but Sirius never did well with strict schedules. It was why he had floundered and eventually left University—the pressure had driven him to drink too much, and at one point his anxiety was so bad, he couldn’t leave the house.

It was with the combined efforts of James and Regulus that he was able to find himself again, in writing, in painting, and he was reaching a point where he could be happy again. Where he didn’t flee in terror at the thought of hanging out with people, even dating.

The door swung open just as Sirius was scrubbing off his arms in the kitchen sink. He turned his head to see James who was speaking rapidly into his mobile. “…yeah alright. No I don’t think it’ll be a problem. Nah he’s right here, hang on.” James pushed the device against his shoulder. “Reg has got a thing with his physics partner and Ben can’t give him a ride. You want to go have a pint before picking him up?”

Sirius shrugged. “Yeah, alright.”

“We’ll be there in a couple hours then. Just send a text if you need me sooner. Laterz.” James rang off, banging his mobile on the table and sinking into a chair. He sniffed once, then grinned at Sirius. “Ate the lamb, did you?”

“Doesn’t mean it was any good,” Sirius said as he flopped down, sticking one socked foot into James’ lap. He grinned when his friend began to knead the arch. “Honestly you should think of other people when you start experimenting.”

“Sod off,” James said with a grin. “How was your day? Reg said you were in a strop when he left.”

“Anxiety attack this morning, but it passed and I got a decent amount of painting done. How was yours?”

“Same shit,” James said. “Saw a super fit girl though. Redhead.”

“You and those English girls, James. I swear,” Sirius said with a sharp grin.

“No better than your swotty library blokes,” James replied with a shrug. “Throws off your punk aesthetic.”

“My punk rock-ness transcends all things, my darling Jamie. You should know that by now.”

“You’re an idiot.”

Sirius kicked him lightly, then stood up. “If we’re going out though, I’m having a shower.”

James grabbed his arm and grinned. “Ana bahebak.”

“Ana kaman bahebak ,” Sirius responded, cupping his cheek.

“Bousni,” James demanded, and Sirius leant down to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. 

“Slag,” he said, slipping into English. “You can’t get enough of me.”

“Fuck off and shower,” James said, giving him a shove. “Then we’ll get pissed and comfort each other for being this good looking and painfully single.”

Sirius wanted to argue, but it was true. He had all the love and acceptance he needed from James and Regulus, but there were moments when he craved love. When he wouldn’t have minded someone who loved him for who he was, and nothing more.

*** 

Regulus sat at the pub table in the back with Lily and Remus where it was quieter and easier for him to focus. Lily’s friend eventually joined them, an enthusiastic woman called Marlene who was the one getting the video sorted. She was friendly, if not a bit loud for Regulus’ tastes, but he was trying his best to be polite.

He found himself wishing Ben was there, or at the very least James and Sirius to break up the tension because he was no good at the whole small-talk thing. But he listened with his most polite face as she explained what they wanted to do.

“I’m getting buzz started for it, and I don’t think anything like this has been attempted at King’s before. A sort of cultural protest like this. I think we ought to add our voices, and I think the lot of us are definitely rampant queers so that’s a big tick in the plus column right there.”

Regulus snorted a little. “Well I’ve explained a little to my boyfriend and he seems keen. He and I can represent the gay ace side of things.”

“And you said he’s Jewish, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Regulus said, thumbing the rim of his pint. “Not Israeli though. But does that matter?”

There was a pause, then Regulus felt Remus lean into him. “She’s shaking her head.”

“Bollocks,” Marlene said, then laughed. “Sorry mate, forgot about the whole blind thing. And no don’t worry about it. I’m not technically Palestinian anyway. I mean I think like nine generations ago but I think I’m Muslim enough to qualify.”

“Well I’m not sure I am,” Regulus said. “Sirius and I were born in Ramallah, but we were disowned and both of us are fairly Atheist.”

“I think it still works,” Remus said. “I mean, I’m an Atheist but I’m Israeli and Jewish and I’m also trans and gay, so I’m not exactly loved by my Orthodox family.”

Marlene sounded overly excited when she spoke again. “No but that’s so bloody fantastic, you realise. I mean with Lils we’ve got what—Regulus and two others, yeah?”

“Sirius—genderfluid but goes by male pronouns most of the time. And James. He’s cis but pan? Actually I don’t really know. He’s Sirius’ best mate and I try my best not to pay attention to those two.”

“But they’re a couple?” Marlene asked.

Reg, who had stopped to take a drink, choked on it a bit. “No. Oh I don’t even want to imagine the hell that would be Sirius and James as a couple.”

The table tittered a short laugh. “Fair enough,” Marlene said. “So we’ve got so far one couple, and I’ve got one who works with me in the library. Mary? She’s Jewish. And I’d quite like to snog her face off.”

“Christ, Marls,” Lily moaned from across the table.

Regulus snickered into his pint. “Well so there’s me and Ben, and now Marlene and her friend. I’m willing to bet James would be alright with you, Lily. I’ve been told he’s fit.”

“Er. Alright,” Lily said, sounding a bit flustered.

Reg heard Remus laugh next to him and he grinned widely. “So that leaves Remus and Sirius.”

“If he’s alright with it,” Remus said. “I mean, I’m not exactly fit so…”

“Come off it,” Lily said in a hurry. “You’re really good looking, Remus. And I mean, it’s not like it’s more than just a quick kiss, right?”

“Well,” Marlene said. “I wanted to go for the full snog.”

“Full snog. That sounds like a sex act,” Remus muttered, and Regulus again choked on his drink.

“Give a bloke a chance to finish his drink, yeah?”

Remus muttered a very insincere-sounding apology, and Regulus rolled his eyes, but was able to take a proper drink as Marlene got everyone’s contact info.

“Right,” she said. “I have to dash, but I’ll be sending emails soon. I think I’ve got a venue sorted as well. There’s a nice little studio here, and so long as we can get the whole thing shot in two hours, the fee won’t be too much.”

“We should all chip in,” Remus said. “If we’re all planning together.”

Everyone agreed, and before long, Lily and Marlene had gone, leaving Remus and Regulus at the table.

“Sirius and James will be here soon,” Regulus said absently, twirling his finger round the rim of his glass.

“Ah. Well I should then…don’t want to,” Remus stammered.

Regulus’ eyebrows shot up when he realised how he had sounded. “No. You don’t…don’t go it’s fine, honestly. We should probably have you meet Sirius anyway. I haven’t even explained this barmy little project to them so I could use some backup.”

Remus shifted in his seat, then shrugged. “Alright, if you like.”

“Thanks mate,” Regulus said, then finished off his drink.

*** 

James and Sirius arrived as two women were exiting the bar, one in a brightly coloured hijab and the other with flowing red hair. Sirius saw James’ eyes flicker past the redhead, and his chest fluttered with a hitched breath.

“That was her,” James hissed.

“Which one?”

“The one I saw earlier. The redhead. Imagine that, her being here same time as we are.”

“It’s the University local, Jamie,” Sirius said dryly as he pushed on the door. “I don’t think it was fate, man.”

“You’ve no sense of romance,” James muttered as he elbowed Sirius.

Rolling his eyes, Sirius grabbed James’ fingers and tugged him through the small crowed until he saw the back of Regulus’ head at the pub table. He was with someone else, but Sirius was less fussed about that and more interested in getting himself a stiff drink.

He dragged James to the bar and slid his card toward the bartender. “Tab please. And I’ll take a gin martini, extra dirty, two olives. Up.”

“Poncy fuck,” James muttered fondly. “Pint for me mate, ta.”

Their drinks were served, a tab opened, then Sirius started to make his way to the table. Just as it came into view, he stopped so fast, James crashed into the back of him with a cried, “Ya Sharmouta!” as he spilt half the beer on Sirius’ shirt.

Sirius, who normally would have been screeching at the top of his lungs to have one of his nice outfits ruined by beer, barely noticed. Instead his gaze was transfixed on the person sat next to his brother at the table.

The person was very tall, at least a head taller than Reg, with short-clipped, ringlet curls sat just above his ears. He had a large nose, a smattering of freckles across his olive skin, and he was laughing, an overbite touching just along his bottom lip. His cheeks were depressed with dimples, and his eyes were squinting in delight, but from that distance looked almost amber in colour.

“What the fuck are you staring at?” James asked, grimacing at the loss of his alcohol.

Sirius came back to himself, profoundly aware of the wet on his back now, and he rounded on James. “You spilt on me!”

“You fucking came to a complete stop, no warning! What the hell is your problem!”

“Ayreh feek,” Sirius hissed. “You ruined my favourite shirt.”

James cheeks went a bit dark, then he deflated and sighed. “Fine. We’ll shop tomorrow you fucking piss baby. Now what the hell…” He trailed off as his hazel eyes landed on the table, and he looked surprised. “Oh shit. That’s not Ben. You think he’s pulling?”

“No,” Sirius said, sounding almost scandalised. “No he wouldn’t. He loves that thick-headed moron.”

“He’s not thick,” James said tiredly.

Sirius grimaced. “I feel disgusting. I probably smell like _beer_.”

James rolled his eyes, taking Sirius’ hand, and dragged him to the table. “Reg…and erm. Friend.”

“Remus,” Regulus supplied, shifting over a bit so Sirius could cram himself in. James followed, grinning at the new person. “Glad you could make it. And Sirius, why do you smell like that?”

“Because my former best mate spilt his beer all over me,” Sirius said with a huff, his eyes straying to Remus every point-four seconds.

“I said I was sorry. And you still haven’t apologised for coming to a complete stop like a total mad person, _making_ me drench you in my precious beer.”

Sirius took a prim sip of his martini and smiled his most charming smile at Remus. “Hi there. It’s nice to meet you strange friend of my brother’s.”

Remus’ cheeks went a bit flush, and he ducked his head shyly for a second, making Sirius’ insides squirm. Hard. “Nice to meet you. I ah…I’ve heard quite a bit.”

“All lies and slander, I’m sure,” Sirius said, giving his brother a withering glower before he sipped his drink again.

“Kol khara,” Regulus muttered. “I’ve been perfectly reasonable. Educational even, on your pronouns.”

“He unless I say differently,” Sirius said, an absent wave of his hand. “And yours, new friend of Regulus’?”

“It’s Remus, and I’m a he.”

“Right. Remus.” Sirius rolled the name off his tongue, liking it very much indeed, and he grinned again, glad his anxiety had mellowed because he was rather enjoying the view. “So. Are you lads having a good time?”

“Actually,” Regulus said, and folded his hands up on the table. He was using his, I have a favour to ask tone which Sirius very much didn’t like to hear from his brother’s mouth as his favours were always almost something very unpleasant for Sirius. “We were hoping to talk to you both about something.”

Sirius’ jaw set in a hard line, and he was halfway through his drink by the time Regulus finished going on about the video. “So it’s a…social statement?”

Remus nodded. “Exactly. I mean, the girls are more educated on it than I am, but I’ve seen the original video and it’s quite good. Profound in a way.”

“Because strangers snogged on camera,” Sirius said.

Remus looked a little exasperated. “It’s not just the snogging. I mean yes, it’s part of it, but it’s showing…”

“No, I get it,” Sirius said. “But the thing of it is, I don’t much care. I mean, I’ve spent a significant portion of my life trying to escape that oppressive environment my parents trapped me in. I’m sure Reg here can attest to it.”

“Right, but isn’t that the point?” Remus pushed, and Sirius might have found him quite lovely to look at, but he was a contrary little fuck. “It’s telling those oppressive environments that we don’t need to live that way. That you can love who you want to love.”

“Snogging on film isn’t love,” Sirius said, deliberately being an arse. He heard James sigh heavily, and Regulus looked murderous, but he didn’t much care.

“No one is saying that,” Remus muttered. “That’s why it’s a social statement. I happen to think it’s a necessary one.”

“Do you?” Sirius drawled. “Pray tell, how have you been oppressed?”

“In my own community, or in general?” Remus challenged.

Regulus put up a hand. “You know what, we are not going to play oppression Olympics here. Sirius, I want you to do the sodding video, okay? James, we’ve got someone lined up for you, I’ll be with Ben, and it leaves you two, if the pair of you can stop whinging for five seconds and actually do something productive.”

Sirius’ eyes narrowed at Remus. “Kiss you.”

“Yes.” Remus met his eyes, just as challenging.

“On film.”

“That’s how the whole recording a social statement video works.”

Sirius felt his chest tighten with irritation, and he downed the rest of his drink. “Jamie, Ya habibi, will you get me a refill?”

“Gladly,” James said, sounding rather relieved to be leaving the table.

“Ah. And I think I’ll…I think I need…” Regulus shifted off his chair, using Sirius as a guide to find James, and took his arm.

Sirius let out a withering sigh and turned back to Remus. “You clearly don’t like me, but you’d kiss me on film just to prove a point?”

“It’s not proving a point,” Remus said, now sounding tired. “It might sound daft, but something like this is important to me. Personally.”

“Why?” Sirius asked. He deflated a little, when he realised he might have been being a bit mean. “You don’t have to tell me. I just… I don’t understand. I mean obviously you’re on the Jewish side of things, yeah? Israeli?”

Remus nodded. “Grew up in Tel Aviv, moved to Wales where my mum was born when I was seventeen.”

“So alright. I mean, I realise Israel is the one who banned the book in the first place, but you think it’s going to make a difference? You think you and whatever Muslim girl you’ve fallen for…”

“I haven’t fallen for anyone,” Remus said in a hurry. “And if I had, it wouldn’t be a girl.”

Sirius stopped. “Ah. Oh. Sorry, I didn’t mean to assume.”

Remus shook his head, his eyes flickering toward the bar where James and Regulus were stood talking and making no attempts whatsoever to return with Sirius’ desperately needed drink.

“I came to Wales when I was seventeen because my mum died, and I came out to my dad as trans.”

Sirius, who hadn’t been really paying much attention to Remus anymore, looked at him sharply. 

“He kicked me out, and honestly Judaism can be just as cruel as Islam when it comes to things they don’t agree with. And I’m not mourning my faith, but the loss of community. Of family. My father won’t speak to me, and most of them have disowned me.”

Sirius swallowed, looking down at the table, the dredges of gin in the bottom of his glass. It was almost like hearing his own story, and the pain was still there, even if he hated them with a fiery passion. “Mine did the same, you know. I was fourteen and my mum caught me in a skirt. She was…” He let out a harsh laugh. “Fury isn’t even the right word. The next day she had me meet parents of this girl she said I’d be marrying the moment I turned eighteen, and it was stupid, but I was too afraid to tell her no. Didn’t last though, I couldn’t keep it in. I was sixteen when I cracked, and luckily Jamie’s parents took me in. Good sort.”

Licking his lips, Remus leant over the table a little. “So how do you not see why something like this is important? To make a stand and say we won’t tolerate being treated like this?”

“Because I don’t give a flying fuck if they accept me or not. _I_ accept me, and that’s what matters.” He muttered a couple of curses in Arabic under his breath, then sighed. “I’m not saying no, Remus. I’m only asking that you don’t ask me to get passionate about it. I don’t love them. Quite the opposite.”

Remus gave him a careful look. “Do you know what the opposite of love is?”

Sirius barked a laugh. “Yeah. Hate. And believe me, I’ve plenty of it.”

Remus shook his head. “It isn’t. You can’t hate something you don’t love, because the opposite of love is indifference. And I don’t see any of that in you.”

“Bugger this,” Sirius said, because he felt flayed open and laid out raw on the table in front of this gorgeous stranger. He flung his glass which flew off, crashing and shattering, and he was on his feet. He wasn’t going to put up with this. To be psycho-analysed by some stranger who didn’t even know him.

So what if Remus had been thrown out. It wasn’t Sirius’ fault if Remus still wanted to be wanted by people who would always hate him for what he was. 

He made it outside just before James caught up with him, grabbing his arm. “Sirius…”

“You really want to do this shite, James? Really?”

“Why not? Look, Regulus really wants to, and I think you’re just a bit…wound up.”

With a scoff, Sirius pulled his arm away. “Barmy.”

“Just do it with me, alright? Regulus and I are meeting with Lily and Marlene, the two organising the event. Will you just be there? And check it out.”

Sirius’ eyes narrowed. “Laa, ana mesh mohtam.”

James’ jaw went tense. “Arjuu-ka, Sirius.”

Sirius deflated. “I…I just don’t see why.”

James cupped Sirius’ cheek, stroking it with the pad of his thumb. “Because it might be good for you, Habib Alby.”

“You think I love you that much?” Sirius challenged.

James grinned, shaking his head. “Of course I do. How can anyone not?”

Sirius let himself be pulled into a warm embrace. “You know you’re an absolute bastard, right?”

James laughed. “Yeah, mate. I do.”

*** 

Remus sat at the table feeling awkward and confused by the entire situation. He hadn’t imagined the request devolving into an argument on social justice, nor did he imagine having to fight someone like Sirius on the idea of social statements.

Not that everyone was obligated to make them, he wasn’t so naïve to think everyone would agree. But he hadn’t anticipated such a harsh reaction.

The worst of it was, Remus thought Sirius had been flirting with him at first. He hadn’t been sure what to expect with Sirius and James when Regulus brought them up. Regulus was nice enough, if not a little bit of a snob. But they got on fairly well and had since the day his professor asked Remus to partner with Reg for things he’d need a visual aid on.

Regulus had been a bit stiff at first, the curt question of, “Where are you from?” and his sharp nod when Remus told him. “I’m from Palestine. I hope this isn’t going to be a problem.”

Remus merely laughed and said, “I think there are more important things to worry about,” and Reg took that as a sign of friendship.

They didn’t talk a lot outside of class, and it was clear Regulus had internal conflicts—Remus assumed they had everything to do with the fact that he had grown up in a strict, religious environment and was now gay, Remus had seen Regulus kissing his boyfriend before class one day, and apparently had no contact with them.

He was good looking though, and once you got past his terse exterior, he was rather witty and clever. 

Remus, of course, hadn’t known about the sibling until Regulus brought it up with Lily, and Remus assumed that Sirius would be a lot like his brother.

He was very, very wrong.

Sirius showed up like a hurricane, all sharp smiles in his shining, black leggings and sheer white blouse. His hair was plaited down his back, long, a little wild, and very much the opposite of Regulus’ sharp undercut combed neatly to the side. He immediately met Remus’ eyes when he sat down, and that smile went right to Remus’ gut, making him _want_.

Of course the want didn’t last long. It sizzled out the moment Sirius started challenging him and attempting to make him feel foolish to want this. To feel like he had a right to make a statement against his family who used religion to shut him out.

Remus was Atheist, yes. But he didn’t believe religion and acceptance were mutually exclusive. He felt it went against everything religion stood for. How could something stand for peace when parents used it against their children to cause pain?

He assumed, after knowing even a vague background about Regulus and Sirius, they’d understand what it felt like.

It seemed Sirius had a lot more to work through.

“Sorry about that,” Regulus said. James had helped him back to the table before going after Sirius, and an awkward silence settled over the pair of them. “He gets incredibly dramatic.” Regulus was drawing his fingertips up and down his pint glass, looking more nervous than Remus had ever seen him.

“Don’t worry about it,” Remus said. “Honestly, it’s not the first time someone’s told me off.”

“What did he say to you? I missed most of it, though James heard him swearing up a storm as he ran out.”

Remus sighed. “He told me he hates your family, that why bother making a statement for approval of people who are always going to hate you. In so many words.”

Regulus bowed his head toward his glass and sighed again. “Well, I suppose it could have been worse. He’s never really been able to…move past what happened. Not entirely.”

“That’s understandable, you know,” Remus said very quietly. He shifted in his seat, feeling a little uncomfortable now and really just wanting to go home and take off his binder and put on pyjamas and lose himself in a Netflix marathon. “I mean, I know what it feels like.”

“Except Sirius has two emotions. Happy and hateful. There’s not really an in between with him.”

Remus shook his head. “I think there is. It’s just buried under resentment. He should learn how to separate what your parents did from the Islamic culture. And I know it’s just about as welcoming to trans people as Judaism and everything but your parents weren’t…I mean just like my Abba isn’t…the end-all be all of what religion could and should be.”

Regulus smiled, something softer than a smirk which Remus rarely saw him do. “I know that. I don’t remember it all the time, but I know it. Which is why I think this project might actually be helpful. And worthy. And James will talk him round, I’m sure of it.”

Remus was beyond surprised to see Sirius and James come back into the pub. So surprised his mouth went dry and he didn’t know what to say when Sirius met his gaze and actually sat back down. Regulus stiffened a little, leaning into Sirius and muttering something in Arabic Remus didn’t understand, but whatever it was, Sirius’ shoulders relaxed just a fraction, and he leant into his brother.

“So,” James said, breaking the silence with a sunny grin, “tomorrow, yeah?”

Remus blinked. “Tomorrow…?”

“Meeting with your friend Lily. Having a proper chat about how we should do this…this thing.” 

Remus felt himself relaxing at the sound of James’ casual tone, and he could see why Regulus and Sirius wanted him around so much. He had an air of such casual acceptance and Remus had to wonder what it must have been like to grow up in a supportive environment like that.

“Yeah,” Regulus said, taking over the conversation for the moment since no one else had bothered speaking. “She’s going to send me all the official details, but we’re all free tomorrow evening, right?”

“I might be,” Sirius said, his tone sullen, and Remus fought back a sigh. “I just…this whole thing is…”

Regulus cut him off again, sharp Arabic, and Sirius fell silent. “If you’d trust me for once,” Regulus carried on, still speaking quietly, “you’d see this might actually do some good.”

Sirius glanced across the table at Remus, and those grey eyes shot sparks through Remus’ skin. He momentarily hated himself for still wanting the infuriating man, but he didn’t break their eye contact. “I owe you an apology, Remus.”

The statement shocked him into silence, and he had to clear his throat. “It’s fine. You’re entitled to feel how you feel.”

“Yeah, but I’m not entitled to being a complete shithead to you. I don’t even know you. So. I’m sorry.”

Remus blinked, then tried a smile and was pleased to find the corner of Sirius’ mouth quirking up at the sight of it. “Really. It’s fine. We’re all moving on, aren’t we?”

*** 

Sirius was impossible the next day, fidgeting and all up in everyone’s business until Regulus, tired of having his homework interrupted, grabbed him by the hand and bodily shoved him into the studio. He shut the door, then leant against it and crossed his arms.

“What’s it going to take to get you to calm down, Sirius?”

There was a beat of silence before Sirius spoke. “I just…don’t want to do this.”

Letting out a withering sigh, Regulus slid down to the floor, cocking one leg up toward his chest, and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Will you tell me why this is bothering you so much? I didn’t think I’d have this much trouble getting you to kiss some cute boy on camera. And yes, I know Remus is cute. James has said.”

Sirius scowled as he flopped down on his tatty sofa under the window. “I just…what if this thing, this little film we’re about to make, gets popular. Then our parents,” he spat the word, “sees it. Some cousin comes looking for us and…”

Regulus’ face lifted and there was a look of understanding across his features. “Ah.”

“Don’t go reading all heavy into it,” Sirius warned, but his brother was standing up now, crossing the room with his hand out. Unable to help himself, he grabbed Reg’s hand and pulled him down to the sofa. 

“They can’t hurt you anymore,” Regulus said after a long moment. “Even if they see it. It skyrockets you into some sort of social justice viral fame, they can’t touch you. Sirius, they can’t hurt you anymore.”

Sirius felt the centre of his chest clenching hard, and he sat back, trying to swallow against the lump in his throat. “How pathetic is it that I’m in my twenties and haven’t had to see any of them since I was sixteen and they still reduce me to…to this.”

Regulus bowed his head, then his hand reached out and curled round the back of Sirius’ neck. He pulled him in, pressing Sirius’ forehead to his temple and held him there. “It’s not pathetic. Nothing you feel has ever been pathetic. They’re monsters, Sirius. They always have been. And it’s not the fault of religion, it’s not your fault. It’s not because you’re genderfluid, or that you like shagging boys. It’s because they are wrong.”

Sirius let out a shaking breath and let the feel of his brother holding him tight bring him a small measure of comfort. “Ana bahebak,” he said very softly.

Regulus laughed a little. “Ana kaman bahebak.”

*** 

Remus arrived at the studio earlier than anyone else, having just come off his shift at the café. He found Lily and Marlene sat at a long table fiddling about with a camera on a tripod, and they both looked up and grinned when he entered.

“Remus, excellent,” Lily said, walking over. “We’re thinking about doing a couple of test shots tonight before we get everything set up. You alright with it?”

Remus shrugged. “I wanted to talk to you about that. After you left, things sort of…went a bit tit’s up.”

Lily’s eyes widened. “How?”

“Well, Sirius and James—the two Regulus said would be alright with this—they showed up at the pub and things got…weird.”

Lily pulled him by the hand to the table to sit near Marlene who was fiddling with a pin on the side of her hijab, and was looking at him with wide, brown eyes.

“Go on,” Marlene said, her sculpted brows dipped in a slight frown. “What happened? Am I kicking someone’s arse? He wasn’t being a transphobic shit, was he?”

“No ,” Remus said in a hurry. “Nothing like that. I mean he’s genderfluid so you know, he’s part of the trans community. No it was more like he…panicked I think. Over the whole thing. And we had a row over the meaning of the film and I’m not entirely sure he’s going to want to kiss me after all that. So it might be best if I didn’t do it. Or if we could look for someone else who could…”

Remus broke off when the doors opened, and four people walked in. Remus immediately recognised Ben who had his hand linked with Regulus. James and Sirius followed behind, James grinning until his eyes fell on Lily, and his expression turned to something near to shock.

Sirius looked subdued until he spotted the three at the table, then he elbowed James and whispered something in his ear.

Remus turned back to Lily. “See what I mean?”

“Let’s not jump to any conclusions,” Lily muttered as she started to rise. “I’m sure we can sort it all out.” 

Remus tried not to groan as Lily strolled over to the group to introduce herself. “Hi there. I’m Lily, and that’s Marlene.”

James, who still looked vaguely surprised, extended his hand quickly. “James. Er. Potter. James Potter. And this is Sirius.”

Sirius was stealing surreptitious glances over at Remus as he extended his own hand to Lily. He looked decidedly uncomfortable, but still criminally attractive in a calf-length black skirt and thin, white cashmere jumper with sleeves that extended almost to his fingertips. His hair was pulled back again, in an elaborate twist, and he had on a pale pink gloss and a brush of gold over his eyelids. When he turned his head, Remus saw a smear of what looked like yellow paint on the side of his ear.

“…and get a couple of shots tonight, if you don’t mind. I know we haven’t been over the extended details of the project but I reckon we can get that sorted tonight?”

Remus snapped back to himself during Lily’s explanation, and he was somewhat relieved to see everyone nodding, including Sirius who was still glancing over every few seconds.

“Alright,” Marlene said, startling everyone with her authoritative voice, “we’re just waiting on Mary, and then the entire group will be here. I’ve got tea and coffee,” she nodded her head toward a table at the back of the room, “if anyone fancies. I’d like to try a couple of shots with my camera right now, if that’s alright. And since Regulus and…what was your name?”

“Er. Benjy,” Regulus’ boyfriend said quietly.

“Right yes. You two mind?”

Regulus tried a soft smile and squeezed Ben’s hand. “I’m alright with it, if you are.”

The pair agreed, and followed Marlene to the front of the room where a massive, black curtain hung. Remus watched for a moment, but saw James beckoning him over to the coffee table, and Remus fought back a groan as he got up and approached.

“Alright there, Remus?” James asked with a smile, clapping him on the shoulder as Remus reached for a cup.

Remus smiled, glancing at Sirius who was looking incredibly busy with his tea. “I’m good.”

“Excellent, excellent.” James leant against the table, his eyes straying over to Lily who was helping Marlene with the camera. “So. That Lily…”

Sirius interrupted him with a long groan. “Really, Jamie?”

“What?” James asked, looking only slightly apologetic. “I’m going to be kissing her, you know. It’s natural for me to have questions.”

Sirius leant toward Remus and dropped his voice. “He thinks fate brought them together because he’d been trying to have a letch after seeing her between classes.”

Remus raised his eyebrows. “Before all of this?”

James’ smile widened. “She’s quite beautiful, don’t you think?”

“Er. Yes?” Remus said, flushing a little, then busied himself by adding milk to his tea. “I suppose so.”

“Do you know if she’s seeing anyone?”

Sirius groaned again, dropping his head, and Remus couldn’t help a small laugh. “Honestly, I don’t know. She’s in my astrophysics lecture, but we don’t usually chat. She’s friendly though. You should just go and talk to her. Bring her a coffee.”

James’ eyes brightened. “I should do, yeah. You’re a brilliant man, Remus.” He clapped him on the shoulder before hastily pouring a coffee and hurrying over.

Sirius muttered something in Arabic under his breath, and when Remus raised a curious eyebrow, Sirius chuckled. “I said he’s fucking hopeless. Always has been with girls.”

Remus grinned back, shaking his head. “I think Lily’s a bit as well, you know. Maybe they’d be a good match.”

“Maybe,” Sirius mused. He gave Remus another, shrouded look before shifting over so their elbows were touching. “Listen, I wanted to say a proper sorry for…for last night. And for being a twat. I’m not normally like that.” He paused, then laughed. “Okay maybe I am a bit. But I…it’s a rough time of year for me.”

Remus let out a small breath and pushed back against Sirius a fraction. “It’s alright. You know I actually have some idea of what it’s like. To grow up like that.”

Sirius’ smile was soft and he bowed his head. “Reckon you do. Reckon I should have listened to someone who’s been where I am instead of acting like a complete shit.”

“Does that mean you’re not going to punch me if I try to kiss you on camera?” Remus blurted, then flushed hard.

Sirius laughed quietly under his breath, and nudged Remus’ side. “Nah, no punching. So long as you don’t mind. I would totally understand if…”

“I’m good,” Remus said in a rush, then tried not to let his cheeks flame red as he looked over at Marlene who was busy positioning Regulus and Ben where she needed them. His eyes flickered over to James who was running his hand through his hair, smiling softly at Lily who seemed to be enjoying whatever he was saying. “They look like they’re hitting it off.”

Sirius sighed and shook his head, but his lip was quirked up in a half smile. “Yeah. He’s too fucking charming for his own good.”

Remus grinned, looking down into his milky tea. “Is he…practising? Muslim, I mean?”

“Yeah,” Sirius said with a shrug. “He’s not a shit about it though, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“What about his family? I mean she’s Jewish so…”

Sirius barked a laugh. “Mate, they took me in at sixteen when I got chucked out for wearing skirts. His mum even took me shopping for them. She’s the one who taught me how to perfect a smoky-eye. So I don’t think they’ll mind about a little thing like that.”

Remus relaxed a fraction. He didn’t know Lily well, but he felt protective over her for how kind she’d been with everyone this entire time. “Alright, then. I won’t worry.”

“You really shouldn’t. I mean, aside from his abysmal flirting skills and that stupid hair thing he does,” Sirius mimicked James’ hair-ruffle, “he’s probably the best person you will ever know.”

The tone of absolute truth in Sirius’ voice made Remus look over, and he saw the grey eyes shining, fierce and meaningful. “You’re lucky to have someone like that, you know. Profoundly lucky.”

Sirius grinned a little, thumbing the rim of his paper cup. “Oh I know, believe me. I’m aware of it every damn day.”

Remus turned toward Sirius, studying him a moment, and decided that whatever it was that made him so contrary and abrasive, Remus liked him anyway. He smiled and reached out, his thumb running over the paint smudge. “Yellow,” he muttered.

Sirius flushed, his hand going up to his ear, then he grinned. “Oh. I was finishing off my painting earlier. I’ve a showing coming up at the end of the month.”

Remus’ eyebrows went up. “You’re an artist?”

Sirius nodded. “And a writer. Dropped out of Uni—it was too much, you know? Too much pressure, too many deadlines. I couldn’t deal with it. Jamie’s been really good about the whole thing though, and my art’s doing really well. So…” He trailed off with a shrug.

“I’d love to see it. If er…if you don’t mind,” Remus said quietly.

Sirius’ eyebrows shot up. “Really? I mean it’s not…I mean it’s not profound or anything but…”

“No,” Remus said in a rush. “I’d really like to.”

Sirius beamed at him and Remus was almost astounded by how bright his smile could be. It shot right through him and he felt momentarily panicked by how much he wanted to know him. Kiss him. Hold him, even. Anything.

And the way Sirius was looking at him now, it almost made Remus think maybe the feeling was mutual.

“So!” Marlene’s voice shattered the stillness between them, and both Remus and Sirius whipped round to face her. “I think we’ve got the angles, but I’ll go over it tonight to make sure. We should all have a seat though, and have a quick chat now that Mary’s arrived.”

Remus looked over to see a shorter woman with a wild pixie cut wearing an almost violently purple dress stood by the table. She gave everyone a bright smile, and then took her seat. Remus glanced over at James who looked both irritated by the interruption, but also elated, and Remus assumed by the state of Lily’s flushed cheeks, their little chat had gone well.

Peeling himself away from Sirius like a stubborn plaster, Remus headed over to the table, and felt a small smile blooming across his face when he felt Sirius close behind. And it only got bigger when Sirius took the chair next to him, and let their thighs touch.

*** 

“Fuck,” Sirius said into the quiet of the lounge. “Fuck. I fancy him.”

James had his sajjāda tucked up under his arm, having just come back from Asr. He was smiling softly, leaning against the wall as he glanced over at Regulus who was filling the kettle. “Is this supposed to be news to us or…?”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “You know, Potter, you’ve no room to talk.”

James tucked the sajjāda against the wall, then flopped down on top of Sirius, throwing his legs in Sirius’ lap. “But I wasn’t trying to deny it. Remember?”

Sirius gave him a withering glower. “This is a bad idea, you know. I have to snog him on camera and he’s going to know and I’ll be mortified and have to live the rest of my life in my studio and never come out.”

“Didn’t he ask to come to your gallery showing?” Regulus pointed out as he came into the lounge with his tea. His hand was out, reaching for his chair, and he sank into it, pointing a rather annoyed face in Sirius’ direction.

“He was being a bit obvious himself,” James said, kicking Sirius gently in the thigh. “He was making moon eyes at you.”

Sirius rolled his eyes a little, but felt his cheeks go flush. “Maybe he’s like that with everyone.”

“He isn’t,” Regulus said, sipping his tea. “He’s actually rather rude at times. Not really interested in being friendly with the masses. I think you can call this a win. And be bloody grateful that he’s even giving you moon eyes considering what a twat you were to him at the pub.”

Sirius huffed, wriggling out from under James’ legs so he could help himself to a proper cuddle. James chuckled, tucking Sirius to his side and pressing a kiss to his temple. “You really think so, though?”

“I do,” James said quietly. “You should talk to him about it after the filming tomorrow. I have a feeling if you ask him out, he won’t say no.”

Sirius sighed, nuzzling into James for another moment. “I guess I could do. But if he shoots me down and I’m left heartbroken and shattered, you’re picking up the pieces and taking all the blame. And bringing me on some fancy holiday where we spend the entire time drowning my sorrows.”

James laughed, then eased himself up away from Sirius. “Done. Now I’ve got some revising to do. Ben said he’d pick us all up tomorrow, yeah?”

Reg nodded. “Yeah. Half six.”

James wandered out, and a few moments later, Regulus shifted to the sofa and reached out for Sirius’ shoulder. Sirius leant into his brother just a little, letting his eyes close. “You think this is all going to crash and burn?”

Regulus laughed. “Probably, because you’re a fucking human disaster. But…I’d like to hope it won’t. Because Remus is a good sort—and you know I don’t say that lightly.”

Sirius hummed, grinning a little and feeling a moment of profound gratitude that he still had his brother. There were moments in life where he chose to indulge the what-ifs. What if Reg hadn’t come to his senses. What if his parents had managed to corrupt him and destroy what little independence he had. Sirius doubted he would have been able to live with himself.

“I don’t want to fuck up. And it would be nice to date someone. Properly. You and Ben seem happy enough.”

“That’s because we understand each other. He doesn’t infantilise me. He understands being ace and queer. I mean, I don’t think people get this lucky all the time. But sometimes.”

Sirius let out a tiny breath and swallowed thickly. “I guess I won’t know until I try, yeah?”

“Which is usually how you get yourself into the shit but…I’m afraid I have to agree this time.”

“I hate you,” Sirius mumbled against his brother’s shoulder.

Regulus laughed and put his arm round Sirius, squeezing him tight. “Nah. You really don’t.”

*** 

Remus was a bundle of nerves. He’d arrived to the shoot early, going over the few lines Marlene had written for him, but mostly his stomach felt like he’d swallowed a bucket of frogs at the thought he’d be kissing Sirius. Marlene and Lily didn’t want tiny pecks on the lips either. They well and truly wanted deep, soulful kissing.

“Like hands on the face, grabbing shirts, making it look like you really want this,” Marlene demanded. Currently she was stood in the corner of the room with Mary, her flirting glaringly obvious, and Mary clearly enjoying it.

Remus put on a good face about the whole thing, but he was about to bolt. He and Sirius had moved past whatever awkward tension had occurred the night of the pub, and Sirius had been rather obvious with his flirting. He spent the whole meeting the day before touching his thigh, laughing into his ear quietly, and in the end passed over his number and the time and date of his art showing.

But Remus didn’t know him, had no idea what it could possibly mean. He would have asked Lily but she spent the rest of the evening gone over James and his deep giggle which she claimed made her go weak in the knees. Remus didn’t want to kill her happy buzz, so he kept it all to himself.

Which was a mistake, because he had no idea what to do about it.

He could talk to Regulus, he knew that much. He liked to think he and Reg were proper friends, but Sirius was his sibling and the very last thing Remus needed was to make himself sound like a complete arse and have it get back to Sirius.

So. 

He suffered in silence.

And it only made things that much worse when the doors to the studio opened and the four remaining participants strolled in. Remus almost choked on his own tongue when he got a look at Sirius. Marlene asked everyone to get ready on their own, make-up optional but everyone was obligated to look camera-ready.

Sirius had gone all out. He was wearing leather trousers, a flowing, lilac blouse with a low-cut v-neck. He wore calf-high black boots with clunky soles, and several silver bangles handing down toward his palm. His make-up was light again, a sort of maroon and gold across his eyelids, and a faint brush of red gloss. His hair was down this time though, hanging low over his shoulders with a slight wave to it, and Remus swore his stomach might just drop out of his feet if he looked at Sirius for too long.

It was criminally unfair that someone look that attractive.

Sirius’ eyes scanned the room when he got in, peeking out from right behind James, and they settled on Remus. His heart fluttered when he saw Sirius’ face soften into a gentle smile, and Remus could swear there was a hint of a blush across his cheekbones. Remus was rising from his chair without realising he was doing it, and Sirius was walking toward him.

“Hi there,” Sirius said. He reached out to tug on the end of Remus’ knitted beanie. “Cute.”

Remus flushed hard. “Er. Thanks. My hair was being…well a shit, like always. Didn’t want to embarrass you.”

Sirius let out a soft laugh, reaching up to tug on an errant curl hanging out from under the wool. “I think your curls are adorable, you know.” Boldly, his long, thin fingers plucked the beanie from Remus’ head and ran his fingers into the messy mop. The curls bounced, spreading out from being mashed down, and Sirius was smiling widely. “You mind?”

Remus attempted to speak without choking on his own tongue. “Er. No. I mean…if you like. Whatever.”

Sirius laughed again, tossing the beanie over to the table, and he stepped back. “So. Ready for this whole kiss thing?”

Remus flushed hard, nodding. “It’s weird now that we’re getting down to it. But I watched the video again last night a few times, and I think…I think it’ll be good.”

“Yeah,” Sirius breathed. “Also I was thinking…” He stopped and glanced over at James who had one hand on the wall, leaning toward Lily who was smiling at him, and got a wink in return. Sirius cleared his throat and looked back. “Maybe after this whole thing we could go for a drink.”

“Oh.” Remus swore he left his body for a moment. “Right. Drink.”

“If you like. As a date, I mean. Just so we’re clear.”

Feeling like he might actually spontaneously combust, Remus forced himself to take a few breaths. “Yeah. That would be…fine. Good.”

Sirius snorted a small laugh under his breath, then looked over at Mary who was getting everything sorted. “Well…it’s almost time. Is it weird our first kiss is going to be on film?”

Remus bit his lip. “Suppose. I mean we could kiss now if you like. But it also might be a decent story to tell. You know, in the future.”

Sirius grinned and reached out, putting his hand at Remus’ side. “Yeah. I kind of like that.”

Remus grinned back widely. “Me too.”

*** 

**Seven Days Later**

It was strange, to say the least, watching his first kiss on film. The entire experience had been rather surreal, and not nearly as romantic as it had been edited to look. Sirius’ hands were on his waist, Remus’ hands carefully carding through Sirius’ long hair, and their mouths were moving gently together.

They looked good at any rate. And it didn’t show any of the awkward tension, or the way they had to cut four times because they kept giggling.

It was sweet.

The snog outside the pub later that evening was much better, and Remus remembered every detail of _that_ one. How Sirius had pushed him against the wall, and stood up on his toes because he was so much smaller, but he still managed to dominate the situation. His lips were right up against Remus’ as he whispered, “Can I please kiss you again?”

And Remus’ head was spinning and he could only nod before taking Sirius by the back of his neck and pulling him forward. Their lips met, firm and needy, tongues sliding together gently, and Sirius’ hand was rubbing along his side so gentle, just enough pressure to feel it go straight to his gut.

“Fuck,” Sirius muttered as he pulled away.

“Yes,” Remus had to agree, and laughed as he pressed his forehead to Sirius’. “Glad we had a bit of practise?”

Sirius couldn’t help his laugh, it seemed, it bubbled out loud and all encompassing as he pulled Remus’ body tighter to his own. “I’d like to think we’d be good at this anyway, but I guess we’ll never know.”

Remus brought his hands up to cup Sirius’ face, then brushed them back into his hair like he’d done in the video, but this time with so much more affection. “I think we have a good story to tell though, you know?”

“And a social statement,” Sirius replied with a sharp grin. “I’m glad it’s with you.”

Remus laughed. “Me too.”

Now they were in the room, watching the final product. Marlene was grinning, her head leaning against Mary’s looking rather proud of herself—and she should. It was brilliant. James was on the floor, legs spread in a V with Lily between them, her head tucked up under his neck and he was drawing his hand up and down her spine. It gave Remus a warm, happy feeling to see the look of contentment on both their faces.

To the right of them on the sofa were Ben and Regulus. Ben had Regulus tucked right up against his side, his fingers drawing lines on Reg’s palm. His mouth was gently whispering the description of the film in Regulus’ ear, and Reg was smiling, his eyes closed, head leant back.

Remus came back to himself when he felt a palm pressing against his thigh, and he moved so Sirius could slide up against his side. A warm kiss pressed to the corner of his jaw, and he nuzzled closer.

“Look at us. Look at what a bunch of romantic fucks we all are,” Sirius muttered.

Remus laughed, hitching him even closer. “I wonder if this happened in the other video. You think any of those people fell in love?”

“Maybe,” Sirius said, giving a thoughtful hum. “I like to think so. I like to think that response against segregation and oppression brings something like this to anyone who wants to fight.”

“So you’re saying,” Remus asked quietly right into his ear, “that it might actually be worth it?”

Sirius looked up at Remus and his eyes flashed, but he was smiling. “Yeah. Yeah, Remus, I guess I am.”

**Author's Note:**

> Ana bahebak- I love you  
> Ana kaman bahebak- I love you too  
> Bousni- kiss  
> Ya habibi- my love  
> Laa, ana mesh mohtam- No, I don't want to  
> Arjuu-ka- Please  
> Habib Alby- Love of my heart


End file.
